Tales of The Fragile Human Heart
by Nommienommie
Summary: Human hearts are fragile, they swell, break and bleed a thousand times in one lifetime. Can a heart truly be mended if it is damaged too badly? This is my angle on New Moon onwards - rated M because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so here goes. My first Twilight fanfic. Obviously I don't own anything so please don't sue but PLEASE review. I got my sister to check over it but she may be biased! I really want to know what you all think.**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 1

Bella's POV

Edward is gone.

The pain starts slowly. An unbearable ache in the back of my throat that travels quickly to my chest. It feels like my heart has been cut out, cut out with the edge of a broken bottle leaving behind jagged glass splinters that cut at the rest of me.

I can't breathe, I've forgotten how. I feel lightheaded and my stomach lurches and knots sickeningly.

My whole body is shaking and I can't stand up anymore. My knees give out and I crumple to the ground, clutching at the gaping, bloody wound in my chest. My vision is blurry and my eyes overflow with tears.

"Edward, please don't leave me" I choke out, I have found my voice and I scream out for him, over and over and over again.

Edward has left me.

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Edward's POV

I run further into the forest, barely dodging the moss covered trees in my haste to get away. I can hear her screaming for me, hear her agonising cries and it takes all of my will not to go back to her.

I cannot be selfish, for her sake I will be strong. She deserves so much more than me, deserves so much more than I am able to give her.

She's begging for me to return and I close my eyes and run faster than I have ever run before. Soon I will be far enough away that I will no longer be able to hear her heart breaking. If I could cry, I would cry a river, no, an ocean for I do not want to leave my love. I did not think it ever would've been possible to part from her.

It is for her that I run. For I am a monster and do not deserve to be loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, I don't own anything so please don't sue but please review.**

**Enjoy.**

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Chapter 2

Bella's POV

Weeks pass and I haven't left my room, my eyes are sore where I have been constantly rubbing them, hoping to wipe the dream from them. Edward is gone.

Charlie is watching the game downstairs with Billy, I can hear them talking about me. Edward is gone.

The wind howls so loud I cover my head with my pillow, I can still smell him. He didn't manage to take that away. I breathe deeply into my pillow, breathing him in and I instantly regret it as the whole in my chest feels like it is spluttering blood. Edward is gone.

How could he take everything away from me? Every tangible memory, it's exactly like he said, it is like he never existed and yet I am here, broken, proof that he existed. Edward is gone.

The rain is coming down in sheets, threatening to shatter my window and I shut my eyes tight but his perfect face burns behind by eyelids, Edward is gone.

I'm cold so I pull the duvet up over my head and the disturbance to the fabric means that I am engulfed in his sweet scent. I can still hear the rain and wind though it is now muffled by the duvet. Edward is gone.

I haven't eaten anything in a few days and I'm hungry but I don't have the energy to move. Edward is gone.

I can't sleep. When I sleep I dream of him. When I wake up I am crying and the whole in my chest aches so much that I can't stand it and I scream his name out into my dark room. Edward is gone.

Edward is gone, he has left me and he is not coming back. None of them are coming back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Stephanie Meyer is one lucky lady. I don't owwn anything so no suing please.**

**Enjoy.**

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Chapter 3

Edward's POV

Living has never been this hard. I remember floating through decades, no real worries or cares, just floating.

Then she stumbled into my life and it was like my dead heart beat again. Her beauty so astonishing, that it makes everything else ordinary and ugly. Her sweet, sweet scent more fragrant and powerful than the rarest of flowers. Her voice so musical that it would shame the nightingale's song.

Enough.

I forbid myself to remember her, and yet, I am terrified to forget her.

I am alone. I cannot be with my family, they think only of my Bella and I cannot bear it. The distance between us now is so great that I cannot hear or smell her though it does not seem to be far enough. I would travel the earth to find her, and my will is crumbling.

I haven't hunted in weeks and my thirst is becoming too much, I need to get out soon but my body seems to be a separate entity that I cannot control. I attempt to move but I just lay here, alone with my memories and the memories stab and pierce my dead, broken heart.

I remember the terror in her eyes when Jasper had fought to consume her. That was the exact moment I knew I had to leave, that we all had to leave. She never blamed Jasper as I knew she wouldn't. We are all monsters and we cannot be trusted no matter how hard we try and fight it, the thirst is always there, beckoning us to sweet ruin.

Sometimes I think if I just lie here for long enough, my body will melt into the earth and I will not have to feel this all consuming guilt and pain. But suffer I must, for I will not fade away, I cannot die.

I will forever be separated from my love; she is safe without us, without me. Though I wish it were not so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so I know they are really short chapters but I hope that I am getting accross the point without having to use too many words. people don't spout about theeir feelings in real life! Thank you for the reviews and PLEASE keep them coming!!!!! As always, I don't own anything so no sueing.**

**Enjoy.**

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Chapter 4

Jasper's POV

Edward has left Bella.

Edward has left us.

It's entirely my fault, if I wasn't so damn weak I would've been able to prevent all of this!

I will never forgive myself for what I have done.

I tried talking Edward out of leaving Forks, leaving her but he would not listen. He must despise me.

When he left her, I could hear her desperate screams coming from the forest. I wanted to find him, make him return to her, anything to make her stop screaming like that.

I feel a sudden ache in the back of my throat, one that I do not recognise and I do not like it. Alice looks up at me with her big doe eyes and I can feel the pity rolling off of her in waves but this only serves to make me even angrier and I leave the room quickly.

I have lost the control on my emotions, like the part of my brain that is able to repress has stopped working and I feel every emotion, no matter how small.

I think of Bella and how she looked at me that night. She must despise me and I can't bear the thought. She was so afraid of me and the thought of her fearing me actually hurts. I haven't felt pain like this in a good long while.

I had become accustomed to her presence and I unknowingly let my hunting routine slip. I had become so used to her scent floating around the house that I led myself to believe I had locked the monster away, that I would be able to befriend Bella as the others had done. I must admit that I am jealous of the bond between Bella and the rest of my family buut I had kept my distance for good reaason.

I am the weak link. My family try and reassure me, they tell me that it was not my fault. That Bella would never hold me accountable for my actions but I do not believe them.

How can anyone forgive a monster?

And I am a monster.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the wait guys but here is the next chapter. Thank you soo much to all that have reviewed and flagged this story. Keep the reviews coming, they're always really helpful. I don't own so don't sue.**

**Enjoy.**

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Chapter 5

Esme's POV

My children.

My children are hurting and I cannot help them!

Edward has left us, left for South America, he is of the opinion that it is far enough away to forget her, but he will never forget her. He has never experienced a love like this and the suffering that goes hand in hand. He does not know what to do.

I want him close, I do not like him being so far out of my reach that I cannot comfort him, hold him, tell him that it will be alright. He is my son, and although I did not give birth to him, watch him grow he is my baby and my baby is in pain.

We are all sat in the living room of the large house we have rented, a sombre mood has fallen upon us. I look up; Jasper is staring vacantly out of the window. There is so much sadness and pain in his beautiful eyes, it hurts to look at him but I pull my eyes away from him.

Jasper, my poor, tortured Jasper. My angel.

He is overwhelmed with guilt, anger, self loathing. I can feel it pouring off of him. He seems to have lost control over his ability and is projecting his emotions onto the rest of us. No matter how much we say that he is not to blame, he is so angry that he does not listen.

He believes himself to be weak.

I have tried and will continue to try to comfort him but he does not want to be close to anyone. His relationship with Alice is strained and Alice is trying her best to be patient but I fear for them.

This lifestyle has been hardest on Jasper. He was a vampire for so much longer than the rest of us before he chose this way of life. He has done so very well. I fear that the guilt will ruin him and he will leave us.

I can feel my eyes burning with the tears I am unable to shed.

I worry for Bella. She loves my son with her whole, sweet heart and I fear that it has been so badly broken that nothing or no one will be able to fix her.

My sons, my daughter is in pain and I cannot help them!


	6. Chapter 6

**So I hope you are all enjoying it so far. Am really nervous about publishing this chapter, Jaccob has such specific character traits and it was really difficult to get this chapther right to his personality but I hope I suceeded! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review. Thank you for reviewing and bookmarking! As always, I dont own Twilight etc so please don't sue.**

**Enjoy.**

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Chapter 6

Jacob's POV

Okay, so I know I don't like him all that much, don't like him at all really but he made her happy and thats all that matters. If she's happy, I'm happy.

If I ever get hold of Cullen I will rip his head off! How could he do this to her?! How could he have broken up with her like that? Left her all alone in the middle of the forest! I hate Cullen for what he's done to Bells!

I don't think I can stand to go over to Bella's anymore. Every time I get there the Chief tells me she's asleep so basically all I'm doing is wasting gas driving the 36 miles to and from home to Forks every day. But that hasn't seemed to have stopped me from cramming myself into my beaten up Rabbit and speeding all the way to her house.

The Rabbit's fuel light has just come on, damn! The gas station isn't too far away but I hate stopping once I've started.

The gas station on the way to Bella's is depressingly run down with ancient pumps and a register that doesn't accept plastic. I get out of my car and the cool night hits me like a smack in the face, hadn't realised I had the heater on, that's probably why I ran out of gas!

I impatiently wait as the gas makes its way from the pump, down the pipe and into my car and I hope that Bella has decided to stay up later tonight. It's a Friday after all. Maybe the Chief has told her that I keep coming by and she will wait up tonight? The thought that she might be waiting for me abruptly stops me pumping gas and I quickly throw down the $7.48 on the counter and squish myself back into my now unbearably hot car. Like a bullet out of a gun, I start her up and continue speeding toward Bella's.

The Chief told me she went to school again a couple of weeks ago. He said it's like living with a zombie and that thought brings a dull ache to my chest and I slam the accelerator pedal to the floor. I can see the exit for Route 101 and I know Forks is only another 2 minutes away.

Hold on Bella, I'll be there soon!

The roads in forks all look the same and I always have to count the roads before the turning to Bella's. I count the last road and I can see her house. The light is on in her room and my stomach lurches in anticipation, I knew she'd be waiting for me!

It seems to take a life time for me to actually get out of the car, walk up the porch steps and ring the doorbell but I'm here, waiting impatiently for Charlie to open the door. I see his shadow behind the blind and I cannot stop a grin from spreading across my face.

The door opens slowly and Charlie looks at me with the same expression he has for the last 3 weeks.

It feels like my heart has been dragged down to the floor where someone beats the crap out of it!


	7. Chapter 7

**Please keep up with the reviews! They've slowed down! Maybe I'm boring you all...........as always, please don't sue.**

**enjoy.**

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Chapter 7

Alice's POV

I don't think I have been so cross in my entire life!

How can he just cut me out like this?! It doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell him that none of this was his fault that I'm here for him, he just floats further out of my reach.

I don't know what else I can do!

I've tried holding him, comforting him but that just made him angry, he's worried he will hurt me, us. This made me angry, not just because he's projecting but because I KNOW he will not hurt us.

I've tried getting him to talk about it but he just sat there, not even listening just staring out of the window. I felt sorry for him which made him angry!

I'm now keeping my distance, letting him work through whatever he needs to on his own but this doesn't seem to be working. His guilt is so strong I cannot bear to be near him and this I cannot stand! It hurts too much to watch him spiral further into this depression but I cannot leave him, I won't leave him alone in this.

He's sat next to the window again and I can feel his utter self loathing. I can't stand it! I have to get out of this room. He doesn't even look up when I leave, slamming the door behind me.

My eyes prickle and I wish I could cry. I want to cry for my Jasper, my sweet Jasper. I want to cry for Edward, for Bella, for me. My chest feels like it's caving in on itself and my heart aches from the pressure.

I haven't moved from my spot behind the door, my cold hand still on the handle. I can feel his pain seeping underneath the gap between the door and the floorboards and it feels like it's strangling me. Sliding down the doorframe, I hug my knees to my chest in an attempt to stop the pain.

I don't even hear Esme sitting next to me until her fingers are running through my hair. I look up at her and her eyes are filled with sympathy and love and I quickly wrap my arms around her neck, burying my head into her shoulder, letting loose my dry sobs that shake my body. She holds me close and rocks me gently, soothing me with the promise that things will be alright soon.

I hear a loud, pained growl from the other side of the door. I slowly get up though my knees feel weak. I open the door and my stomach lurches horribly and the prickling in my eyes returns.

Esme sobs quietly beside me. He's gone.

Jasper is gone.

Edward is gone.

I want them back!


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter up! It's been crazy!! Hope you like this chapter and as always, please don't sue.**

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Chapter 8

Charlie's POV

"That's it Bella! I'm sending you home". I yell, slamming my fist down on the table in my frustration. Bella let her spoon plop into her cereal, which she wasn't eating, and just looks at me with a slightly bemused expression that doesn't reach her lifeless eyes. Seeing her like this is killing me.

She objects, she says she is home and I realise she hasn't quite grasped what I've said. I explain that when I mean home, I mean Jacksonville and Renée. I watch as she processes each word, she asks if she's done something wrong with such a pained expression that I can hardly bear to look at her.

"You didn't _do_ anything. That's the problem. You never do anything" I say trying to get the point across without having to actually say it but it looks like I've confused her even more and she asks if I want her to get into trouble. I sigh heavily, of course I don't want her to get into trouble, but trouble would be better than this I explain.

I realise that she isn't getting the gist off the conversation; she's so used to tuning things out that she's forgotten how to have an actual conversation. I wish there was something I could do to help, to snap her out of this zombie like state. But there's nothing I can do, I feel so helpless.

I look across the breakfast table at her, my baby girl. She's so pale, so skinny and so.....lifeless. Swallowing hard, I try again.

"Listen, honey. I think that....." Am I really going to say it? ...."that maybe you need some help". I brace myself for her reaction. It goes down like a lead balloon, of course she'd object. I don't like the thought of my 18 year old daughter going to a shrink anymore than she likes the thought of going but what else can I do?!

"It's beyond me, Bella. Maybe your mother....." I start but she says she will make plans to go out with her friends, saying she'll try harder. The thought of her trying harder makes my stomach knot painfully. I explain to her that I just want her to be happy and that I think she will do better if she goes back to live with Renée. She looks up at me with a slight spark in her eyes and protests quite fiercely that she's not leaving – well it's a start. But I really do think she'd do better if she was in a town where every part of it didn't hold some kind of memory of him.

I can't help it, but when I think of that Cullen boy I can't help but feel angry and I hadn't noticed that I'd pounded the table again.

"We both know what's going on here, Bella, and it's not good for you" I say, trying to keep my temper by taking a long, deep breath. "It's been months. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can't keep waiting for him". I say and the expression on my baby girl's face breaks my heart.

Again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so I know I have been super pants with loading up chapters so, as an apology, here's two! I don't think Chapter 9 is very strong but hopefully Chapter 10 makes up for it? Let me know what you think. I don't own anything (if only) so please don't sue. **

**Enjoy.**

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Chapter 9

Bella's POV

I don't really remember how I ended up going to the movies with Jess. When I try to determine the events that lead to this outcome it's like trying to hold sand, it slips through my fingers. But I suppose it's keeping Charlie off my back.

We're walking through Port Angeles and I can't really feel the rain that coats my hair and face in a fine mist.

I think she's talking about the movie but I'm not really paying attention. All I can think of is how not to think of him. To not think of his perfect face, his heavenly scent...

........ouch.

I wrap my arm around my chest instinctively. It feels like my blood is seeping out through the band aid I'd stuck over it. I tried to fix myself up after the horrible conversation with Charlie.

I was hurting him so I've pushed all of my pain back into the hole and taped it up. But the tape isn't sticking as well as I'd hoped and the wound has leaked at least a dozen times, always catching me off guard.

Jess has stopped talking and I notice that she looks a little.....anxious. Looking round, the road Jess has led us down is a little bit rough. Well, as rough as Port Angeles can get. There is a bar opposite and some guys are stood outside and I realise that I've stopped walking.

The dark guy is staring at me.

Instead of being normal, I just stand there, looking back at him and I am hit with a powerful sense of déjà vu. Different road, different night but the same and for some reason that I cannot fathom I step off of the sidewalk and into the road, slowly walking toward him.

Jess is yelling at me to come back but I ignore her, something is pulling me forward and I can't to stop it. I haven't felt anything for so long I don't _want_ to stop it!

I feel a hand on my arm, pulling me back and Jess is telling me I'm crazy. Well, there's a news flash! I turn to look at her and her face is pale and her eyes are wide.

"Go eat" I say to her "I'll catch up in a minute". She looks at me as if I'm about to commit suicide but I turn back to the guys outside the bar, taking a few steps closer.

"Bella, stop this right now!"

................................................................ Holy shit!


	10. Chapter 10

**I really hope you like this chapter, I wrote it and re-wrote it about a hunddred times trying to get it right. I'd really appreciate some reviews for this chapter. As always, please no suing!**

**Enjoy **

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Chapter 10

Jasper's POV

I had to get out.

I can hear the leather on the steering wheel creek as I grip it too tightly, I loosen my grip, breaking the car won't get me there any faster and I have to get there.

I have to see her.

I don't need to talk to her or let her know I'm there, I just..... I just need to make sure I haven't done any permanent damage. If I can only see that she's leading her life, moving on, I can start to trust myself again.

I know my abrupt departure has hurt Alice, I can feel it, but this is something that she cannot help me with. Alice has always been there for me, helping me through the lifestyle we have chosen. Her unswerving belief in me is my source of strength but I have to do this myself. I need to make sure that it is not just her faith in me that keeps the monster buried, that _my _will is stronger.

It's 2am.

I can see her house now. I pull over and get out of the car and for the first time since staring out on my journey I feel, apprehensive.

I run my hand through my hair, a human habit I haven't been able to shake and pull in a deep, pointless breath. Though I cannot feel the oxygen in my lungs, the air is cold in my throat. I lean against the car, procrastinating, weighing the possible outcomes of this visit but my mind is frustratingly slow and my thoughts are clouded with fog and I find myself unable to think of anything but the possible thoughts of the girl 2 houses away.

I lock the car and walk at a human pace along the sidewalk. Thankfully, the families along this street are asleep and therefore, their emotions are dull. I can see no lights on in the small white house and I am relieved, no explanations needed tonight. Still walking at a slow pace I stand beneath her closed window and I suddenly feel breathless.

I jump up onto the windowsill and perch there while peering through the window. I can see her, she seems normal, asleep, and peaceful.

Good so far.

I claw at the window and it opens with a loud screech but the girl hasn't woken up.

Still good.

Climbing into the room, I realise that I will have to keep the window open. Her scent is intoxicating and I can feel venom already coating my teeth. But, holding my breath I sit in a rocking chair that is close to the window and try and relax, opening myself up to her emotions............

.....................................I feel like the air has been punched out of me, like someone has torn my lungs out of my chest. My eyes prickle painfully with dry tears, my chest aches and stabs.

I try and close off the connection but her feelings are so strong that I cannot and I double over in the chair, holding an arm across my chest drowning in her pain which, I realise has woven in with my own and for a frightening moment, I am lost. I cannot find a way out of this torturous agony.

She screams, sitting bolt upright.

Her eyes are wide and staring straight into mine. If I had a heart, it would be beating out of my chest!

She gasps for air and I cannot move. Her eyes become more focused and I can hear her heartbeat stutter.

She can see me.

Her eyes instantly fill with tears that roll down her already damp cheeks and still, I cannot move.

"Jasper"

Its half statement, half question.

My mind is slow and I do not know what to do, I just sit there, looking at her. My arm still wrapped around my chest.

She gets out of bed and her heartbeat is so loud that I can barely hear anything else. She kneels down in front of me; the breeze from the open window raises goose bumps on her bare legs. The agony emanating from her is almost unbearable this close, and I let her get this close.

She slowly places a shaky, hand on my knee and I can instantly feel warmth spreading through me.

"Jasper" she whispers, her voice breaks and she fails to hold back a sob and fresh tears overflow from her eyes, rolling off of her nose and drip onto her nightshirt.

I do not feel fear or anxiety. Does she not remember the last time we met? How I tried to rip her to pieces? Tried to kill her in the most vicious way possible? But I notice that the pain is starting to be replaced by wanting, a desperate need that is frighteningly strong.

I have never wanted to hold anyone as much as I want to hold her right now. To try and smooth away some of the agony that is tearing her apart, to tell her it will be ok.

She moves to her knees and leans closer, her arms move to place themselves around my neck and I suddenly feel my muscles tense in an all too familiar way. My teeth are practically dripping with venom and I try and swallow some back, I can almost see her veins pulsing beneath her fragile skin and...........I want it.

She stops.

Her hands drop to rest on my knees and her heart beats faster as she looks into my surely black eyes. She is not afraid, she has seen this many times before but there is something else that replaces the fear. It's the same wanting as before but the context has changed, before she just wanted to hold me, to make sure I was real.

Now......she wants me to kill her.

She's looking straight into my eyes and I hadn't realised that my hands are gripping her shoulders. She leans in a little and gently tilts her head to the left, revealing her long neck and a low growl rumbles in my chest. Just a few more inches, her scent burns the back of my throat making it ache, painfully. My grip on her tightens and I lower my head a fraction and I can practically taste her!

"Please Jasper, just do it" she whispers, holding back another sob.

The sound of her voice brings me back to reality and without thinking I hurl myself out of the window, running into the forest.

"Don't leave me"!

I can hear her call out to me but I keep running, faster and faster.

I catch the scent of a Doe not too far away and I throw myself at it. I can hear its bones crack underneath me and I quickly sink my venom drenched teeth into its neck. It bleats and struggles to free itself but I only tighten my iron like grip, bleeding the animal dry and I try not to imagine that it is her blood quenching my thirst.

The blood of the animal helps. A little.............


	11. Chapter 11

CRISIS!!!!!

Okay, so my USB stick that held all of my story stuff has BROKEN!!!!!! I'm getting this fixed ASAP so please bare with me!!!! Promise to update soon!


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